Mercy will take you the way that you are…..Grace won’t leave you that way!
A 50-year lifetime of outrageous adventures and everyday obligations, tall-tale stories and simple moments, amazing mountain-top views and pit dwelling valleys could not compare nor adequately prepare me for the journeys that I am now traveling.
When we began our journey through the valley of terminal cancer, this control-freak Christian almost lost her mind.
Two questions I asked myself…
1 – can you lose a mind you don’t have?
2 – Can control-freak and Christianity coexist in the same person?
Spoiler alert, the answer is no! Yet, here I am.
After years of yo-yo Christianity (I know, I know…no such thing…. we’ll talk later) a conviction fell on me, and months prior to diagnosis I had made this song lyric my prayer:
“Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior.”
Then cancer. Terminal cancer. Cancer without a cure.
My otherwise healthy, strong, solid-rock, faith-filled, steady mind-settled-on-God of a husband got the diagnosis. My first instinct was my all too familiar, life-long friend…. fear.
But God….
My life has been a series of thrilling, unbelievable adventures swirled together with moments of deep, sorrowful darkness…but always overshadowed with a “But God.”
God is answering each line of my song lyric prayer. Slowly but surely, I will run my race.
I am not where I need to be, but I’m a long way from where I was.
Mercy has certainly taken me the way that I am…. But Grace isn’t leaving me that way!
If you need me, you can find me being renewed and refreshed under His waterfall of grace.